Random Thoughts

2009-11-03T21:35:00.002+09:00

4 years of my life written all over these pages
the journey is still present though in traces
my life just keeps surprising me more
just when i struggle to get out
he opens another door...

2009-10-30T17:55:00.006+09:00

I was a nomad, wandering around
No haste to settle or get tied down
Life was an adventure & I didn’t want it to end
Just wanted to be free, find out what’s at the next bend
Kidding myself that I was happy to escape
Be free from emotions just hide in the cape
Holding on to everything that ever came my way
Afraid to let go any part of the day
Cos that’s all I had with me to stay
A day a night & yet another day
Then came along a breath of fresh air
In whose eyes I cud without fear stare
In whose arms I cud leave all the care
And the journey just got better from there
The happiness just grew by day
Smile on my face, stayed glued all day
And for every smile u bought on my face
I thanked god for his never ending grace
I thanked him for all the future I cud see then
I prayed for the new life we had just begun
But I guess all my prayers never reached him ever
They probably got lost in this fog forever
Cos we cudnt even touch the happiness long enough to feel
He gave us wounds which would take forever to heal
My aching heart now just doesn’t know where to hide
Just wants to be forever by your side.

2009-10-08T16:07:00.003+09:00

There are times when I smile without reason
There are times when I cry too
But the smiles & tears are there for a reason
And for me that reason is u
I accept now that love is special
When you know that it’s true
And as much as I love u
I know u love me too
I know there will be tough times
Times when everything will seem wrong
I pray we find the courage then
To hold on & be strong
Cos I can’t promise u all the happiness
Though with all my heart I’ll try
The only promise I can make now
Is to love u till I die...

2009-07-16T16:01:00.002+09:00

How do I explain what’s happening now
How do i express what’s within me
How is it that this feeling just grows?
How is that it grips every bit of me
How every day is now newer than before?
How everyday my heart grows fonder
How is that the more I try to stop the more I can’t?
How is that it’s is difficult to stay away longer
How is that I see u when ur not around
How is that I can feel u too
How is that I miss u every moment
And hope that ur missing me too..

2009-06-17T21:22:00.003+09:00

Life is not our mere existence
Life is not just about being here
Life takes more than we can give
Life shows us that we can care
Life is not the million times we fell
Or vengeance burning like hell
Life is love, love is life
Life is to give & with nothing survive
Life calls us every time we turn our back
Life asks us not to lose track
Life says there is much more
Why be in a hurry to reach the shore?

2009-02-25T16:17:00.001+09:00

Unseen the roads, I take to thee
Heart full of hope as I cross this sea
Happiness is all I can now feel
The wounds finally start to heal.
The closer I get, the more that’s to see
What’s outside & what’s within me
What’s my choice & what’s meant to be
What I need to do & what to leave to thee.

2009-01-27T17:02:00.000+09:00

I keep searching day in and day out
But the search is where it was and all I see is a cloud
I wonder what is it that made me walk miles
I close my eyes and theres ur smile.
The days get tougher as they pass
And I slowly let go of my beliefs and thoughts
I try to keep going cos the search is on
And ur smile is the only thing which makes me move on
Things change with time & time changes too
The only constant seems to be the smile I hold on to
All my faith is questioned now
My trust in u and above all love
How do I tell all that I can’t show what they ask for?
Your smile is my heart, my soul & my only power

For the one who makes all of us move...

2009-01-10T01:15:00.003+09:00

As a child I was made to believe
That destiny was yours alone to weave
Dreams were for a purpose
They were to be turned real for the world to see.
There was nothing I couldn't do
No restrictions whatsoever
Cos life was a game to be played
By looking in its eyes, not running for cover
No mistake was too small to be forgotten
Nor too big to be frowned upon
Each experience was a lesson
To be learnt from & then move on
Few words reassured me
Every time I was low
You are no less than anyone
Nor is anyone less than you
Treat all who come along with love
And forgive the hurtful few
When something ends, something new begins
Just hold on and you’ll know
When the heat becomes unbearable
It sure will start to snow…

2008-12-23T16:28:00.008+09:00

Wats worse..a heart that doesn't ache
for ur heart which aches,
or a heart whose existence you were so sure of
refuses to give what it takes?
do you consider this as a battle not fought yet won?
or complications averted before they even began??
however you put it across, its for no one to see,
what it might have turned out or how it could have been.
funny thing this mind is which acts as if it knows it all,
not realising that its the heart which takes a hit when it falls.
it moves ahead trying to prove everyone wrong,
Covering the tattered seams just to prove that its strong.

2008-12-02T21:47:00.012+09:00

It stood standstill
For a brief moment
Then again it started
Then again it went.

With its routine
As vague as itself
A routine wheel like
Of no one ones interest.

Few stops now and then
To grab a few smiles
Few words it holds on
Just before they are gone.

Then again the wheels go
On a road not yet laid
With a routine, it has known
Not yet tried.

Small dedication to people of Mumbai..a city Ive grown to love so much that it can never cease to be a part of me..

2008-11-06T18:38:00.001+09:00

It happens to everyone
And I am no different
I have my lows & highs
And times when I am indifferent
Times when I need laughter around
Times when I need peace
Times when I need someone to hold to
Times when I hide behind trees
Times when all I need is noise
Times when quietness I seek
Times when I would go crazy
Times when I just wouldn’t want to speak
Times when I would be broken within
Yet Ill put on a smile and go around
Cos I wouldn’t want the sadness within me
To get others down
And in all those times I hear this voice
Reminding me to breathe
And I just know this too shall pass
I just need to hold on, I always have a choice.

2008-10-13T17:49:00.005+09:00

Every time life poses a question,
We run helter skelter for answers,
We find for some, for some we don’t,
And for rest we take our chances.

For every answer we find, we spawn questions more,
And to find more answers we again run around unsure.
We fear to take our chances, when that’s all we can do,
Cos neither do I know the outcome, nor any sure are you.

So why do we fear to take our chances?
When anyway there’s nothing else we can do,
Doubt the existence of any answer,
Without searching inside your heart true?

2008-10-12T23:02:00.000+09:00

My blog turns 3..Yipppeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-03T19:17:00.007+09:00

Tiny crystals scattered all around
Prances everywhere without being bound
Covers u in its fervor when it falls on u
Try to escape but its chillness grips u

Each crystal so pure
Melts down everything unsure
All around there’s a silken hue
Everything shines bright & new

I extend my arms & try to hold
These tiny drops in my palms fold
Wanting to drown in these thousand glitters
Forget everything around cold & bitter

Only to realize that there’s little that I hold
Nothing but traces left in my palms fold
Traces that’ll fade along with this rain
Just like all the bitterness and pain

Along will come a bright new day
A new beginning a new ray
Of hope, love & laughter
Clearer than yesterday…

Rain has an effect on everything it touches..somehow nothing stays the same..

2008-09-15T02:54:00.003+09:00

I stand in front of the mirror,
struggling to see,
Stuck between all the truth & lies
Is it really me?

Am I as tough as I appear?
To the people around who see
An image they hold on to
But is it really me?

Are my wishes any different now?
From what I’ve always wished for
Do I care any less?
For the dreams I had when I was four

Why have I decided?
to wear this cape?
What am I hiding from?
from what am I trying to escape?

All I can see now is a different me
Struggling between truth & reality
Searching for my true identity
One that’s not around for people to see.

Just my take on all our lives!! might be true might not…

2008-03-30T17:24:00.005+09:00

For U..

It doesn't matter if its now gone
doesn't matter that u were let down
doesn't matter that the heart is now in pieces
and ur wondering if she still misses.

All that you've given is worth more
not worth answering to get a score
I know it breaks u to see her go
but I just wanted to let u know.

There was love..but now its gone
don't blame the love cos its ur own,
don't blame ur life, just hang on
Friendship will help u move on.

2008-03-15T05:28:00.001+09:00

Mute..

In the midst of all the chaos, I just wonder,

My mind is flooded with thoughts to ponder

Memories float in this ocean of thoughts

And in between the ocean I find myself lost.

Friends have gone never to return

Eyes don’t show but heart still yearns

I wonder sometimes is this what I’ve earned

What were we then & look how we’ve turned

Eyes closed I try to cry

But tears don’t trickle and eyes run dry

Have I lost myself in this rush to the peak?

Why don’t the words come,why do I struggle to speak?

2008-03-07T01:30:00.006+09:00

Unconditional Love....

I ve always tried to understand what defines love...somehow i used to think that it was a feeling so surreal that to experience it would be nothing less than a dream..unconditional love..naah that didnt exist..in books may be sometimes but in reality never...guess somethings are bound to change..

somehow most of the relationships are always give and take..friends..siblings..even probly the relationship with ur partner..but i for once found a being which would love u irrespective of what you are, who you are or even how ur...messy hair...in ur pyjamas...when ur fuming with anger or even when ur sad..it doesnt care about anything..it just knows that it loves u & has the faith that irrespective of everything u will continue to love it..protect it & it will do everything in its might to protect u..

I ve never owned a 'Dog'..but somehow I ve learnt to appreciate & love this trusted friend..the small things that this thing does never fails to surprise me..the fact that this relationship doesn't need a language to communicate..a simple touch..peck on its head...a hug & thats it..here is a companion which will be beside u when ur down..cant talk but still will show that it cares...show its unbound happiness when it sees u every single day, when u return home after a tiring day at office...each day is a blessing & it shows u that its not wrong to be happy every single day..tough times will come & go but still there is a life which wants u too enjoy...

"Unconditional love, they would learn, comes in many forms" (Marley & me)

2008-02-15T19:12:00.001+09:00

“Marriages are made in heaven & served on earth…I guess search for the right vessel is what we all do here.”

2008-01-15T22:15:00.001+09:00

I ve been thinking for a long time as to how I would sum up the last entire year in few lines..cos eventful probably is an understatement to describe the year gone by. Lots of ups and few downs..lots of memories & few frowns..its was absolutely an year to remember!

Quoting a quote is probably clichéd, but how many times have u actually come across one which u truly believe in? I read this one somewhere few months back & couldn’t help accepting the fact that I truly believed in this one….."The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." 2007 truly was the year of travel, new places, new people, new friends what more could one ask for..it actually started of with the first outing in end of 2006 to Mangalore..that was probably the best way to end that year & set a precedent for the year to come..and 2007 completely lived up to all the expectations!…so a quick glance at the travel marathon anyone?

Innumerable trips to Chennai (my colleagues find this quite puzzling!!)

Few trips to Mumbai

Tenkasi in Feb

Ooty in April

Baroda in May

Goa in August

Pondicherry in August

Cochin in October

Orange County Kabini in November

Kurumbha in November

Baroda again in November

Mysore & near by places end December

I practically lived out of a suitcase last year…tried to squeeze in sleep some sleep whenever possible…worked over weekends, pushed myself to extremes…and wow was it fun!!! Don’t think ill do this again but glad that I did last year….I welcome u all to be a part of few of those memorable moments..
1)

Bankers at Mangalore (end 2006)Awesome 3!
2)
New Year (31Dec2006)
3)
Dont remember the name of this place..was absolutely lovely!(April 2007)
Love this pic taken on the way to Pykara Falls.
Pykara falls..
Need I say?
4)
With amma & appa at ambaji.(May 2007)
School Buddies.
5)
Lovely Goa!! Calm beach..friends..what more do u want?(August 2007)
6)
Pondicherry..(August 2007)
7)
Cochin boat fiasco!!(Oct 2007)Atlast on dry surface!!!
Happy to be alive! Should be this was my third accident last year!! didnt I say last year was eventful! This is when the boat ride started.

Pirates Night! had a blast..danced the night away!
8)
Orange Coutny Kabini (Nov 2007)

9)
Nature at its best at Kurumba..(Nov 2007)
Simply Wow!!!
Morning trek..
10)With Parents..miss them a lot!!!(Nov 2007)
11)
Wonderla!!!!!!!!!!!
Mysore Butterfly park(Dec 2007)
same place
again
Balmuri Falls
Awesome spins!! though got shit scared then.
Guys cook for a change! but got to accept one of the best breakfast I ve ever had!

Its fun to relive memories..each pic has a story & each one makes u smile :)

So all those for whom 2007 wasn't that great & are feeling down...dont worry guys remember the year has just begun!!

Lil late but nevertheless

Wish u all a Great Year ahead!!

2007-11-01T03:53:00.000+09:00

Was checking out my archives, kind of like going through old albums. That's when I realised that its been over 2 years since my 1st blog Wow!! October 10, 2005. What started out as a fad actually has now become part n parcel of my life...every emotion worth remembering has been penned down here. Ive never maintained journals or diaries ever..but this one is surely worth holding on...

2007-10-27T22:27:00.000+09:00

Its not something which happens everyday,
it will happen once and then forever stay.
It wont ask questions, it wont hear you say
it will just come and take along with it your only day.
It wont wait even if people cried,
it wont see what you did and what you tried,
it will neither be cruel nor will it be nice,
but surely it'll bring tears to everyone's eyes.
It'll come to you, it'll come to me,
it wont give you time to turn around and see.
It wont tell you when, it wont tell you why,
So just love your life when you are alive.

2007-09-08T18:38:00.000+09:00

Wrote this for a friend...but i guess applicable for all

There are lots of memories in your mind to keep
lots to laugh at & some to weep
Dont ever stop, just move on
Cos there are miles to go before u sleep....

2007-08-15T04:01:00.000+09:00

Words fell short of the apology due
Stuck in my throat as it struggled to get through.

Your words still ring in my ear
The concern in your voice is all that I now hear.

I know not what I will do
If not for your friendship true.

There will be always those moments where
Those words come out with none to spare.

I know that you care; it shows in your eye
I could see it in the tear drops though u didn’t cry.

The silence around is still waiting to be broken
Sleepless nights waiting to be woken.

The moment is long gone leaving me teary
I wish u could just hear me say “I am Sorry”

2007-07-23T20:41:00.000+09:00

I have questioned myself time and again,
What is it that you measure your life by?
What is that you consider success?
And what are the failures gone by.

Have you ever pondered what is that you love?
And what are those moments you can never forget?
What is that which makes your heart move?
And what fills it with regret

Few of those moments close to my heart
Today I’ve penned down here
Few moments that bought a smile to my face
And few that bought some tear.

Days spent in that rusty train
Every summer, every year
Times when we cousins got wet in the rain
And then waited for the scolding with fear

Time I spent with my grand parents
Still brings a tear in my eye
The long for the touch of my parents
Still makes me cry

The carefree days spent with my friends
The love I got from one and all
The bond that held us together for years
Breaking each and every fall

First love, first heartbreak
And the sleepless nights filled with heartache
Hours spent chatting over the phone
With friends more willing to give than ever take.

Each of us have those special moments
Which we seldom think about
Stuck in this busy life
Caught in lot of doubts

Remember days will soon pass and so will years
And little will be left at the end of all
All that will be left are those special moments captured in your heart
Remember to hold on to them & to never let them part.

2007-03-27T01:27:00.000+09:00

I let you walk ahead, not to lead me,
I let u go cos your shadow is what I wanted to be.
I let you fall not to see u bleed,
I just wanted you to know, I will be there whenever you need.

I never liked to see you hurt, but that’s what I did,
I did see the pain in your eyes & the tears it hid.
I just waited for the right time & the right moment,
But long before I realized the truth, that time had come & long left.

To love, yet hurt, to reach & then forget
I accept I did that, didn’t u do the same?
Years have passed & we have moved on
But look where It has got us, isn’t it a shame?

Everything that happened was for our good without any doubt,
Friends or acquaintance whatever we may now be.
Nothing about the past can I change or now write about,
Things could have been little better is all that I can now agree.

I dont know what was I thinking when i wrote this..just a flood of thoughts i happened to pen down.

2007-03-24T01:29:00.000+09:00

Lot of questions within me,
answers for which I dont know,
Certain feelings surface up,
Unknown they are, or probably I am afraid to show.
Longing for something new,
yet a fear exists that doesn't seem to go,
I am at loss of words at this moment,
too scared to let anyone know.
Everything around seems to be a mystery,
waiting to be unravelled on my way as I go.

2004

2007-03-10T17:05:00.000+09:00

Wishes....

If wishes were wings,
I would love to fly.
Above everything in the clear blue sky.
To a place away from all the troubles & all the pain,
No hearts ever broken or feelings hurt again.
All that would exist is a carefree world,
A world filled with happiness,
A world filled with love.

2003

2007-03-06T01:03:00.001+09:00

On Request all from the past... for J

Those long hours of waiting,
Never did I feel the time pass by.
Times when you didn't turn up,
Never once did I cry.
All alone waiting for you
The only thing I could see was,
Your face, Your smile.
No explanations ever asked
Never did I ask why?
Even as I sit here today
Longing to hear from you,
I know in the depth of my heart,
What I wish for is never going to come true.

2003

2007-01-20T15:42:00.000+09:00

For My Family....My Lifeline

Not many in life get the opportunities...
Opportunities that I’ve got,
Not many understand how lucky they have been,
Until all is lost.
Not many take out the time to tell the ones they love,
That life without them wouldn’t be worth living,
For they have been the ones who taught them that life’s all about giving.

It doesn’t require a lifetime,
To tell the ones u love,
That they have been the small miracles
That god sent from above.

2007-01-20T04:07:00.000+09:00

Remembering Lost Love.....

Current mood : Pretty pissed off..

2007-01-14T14:01:00.001+09:00

Hope

Sometimes my heart just breaks inside but I try to smile
Sometimes the paths are filled with fog & I have to walk a mile
Sometimes what I see is unclear, truths hidden everywhere
And all that I can feel is hope disappearing in thin air.

Sometimes I look for answers around & nowhere can I find
Sometimes the thoughts are in motion & chaos in my mind
Sometimes I just float around motionless, in the sea of silence
And I can see hope & despair walk around like friends.

Not all that life has to offer is sweet my dear
Not all who are around you will understand your fear
And there will be lots of moments where you will struggle to see
The difference between dreams & reality

And it’s in those desperate moments that you must remember
That though there is lots unseen hidden under cover
And lots that you might want but will seldom get
Life is a gift you need to appreciate
Live it don’t breeze through or it’ll be too late.

2006-12-03T23:18:00.000+09:00

Let Go.......

Today will be the last day, that your thoughts crossed my mind
Today will be the last day, in darkness Ill try to find
Today will be the last day that I will shed tears few
Today will be the last day, when I would really miss you.

It was all long ago, that laughter, those tears
Moments together, when I forgot all my fears
All that ever was, has vanished into thin air
Holding on to all that just doesn’t seem anymore fair.

Letting go is not that easy, though that’s the thing to do
Let go of love, tears just to tell you about emotions few
Let go of the feelings which I never before knew
Never until the day I met you….

2006-11-06T02:58:00.000+09:00

ME.

I am not as strong as you perceive me to be
Not a weakling though I do scar, as u can see
Plain smile on my face, can deceive one & all
But hidden in that smile are those tears, which just refuse to fall.

Memories fade & the faces cloud
But the heart still cries, clear & loud
Afraid that someone might just hear
I just walk away till there is no one near.

I have come far, thats what I think
When I hear footsteps following me
I stop I turn, & find you all there
Waiting to take me along, help me break free.

2006-05-08T20:33:00.000+09:00

Tears welled up in my eyes, when I saw that innocent face
Let down by life & troubled by fate.
All I could see was the question in his eyes
Whom do we love & whom do we hate?

He grew up listening to tales like all of us
Tales of valor, tales of forgiveness
Tales of peace & tales of love
Tales which he believed in, more than anything else.

Was he wrong in loving everyone?
Or was he wrong when he gave a helping hand.
Was he wrong when he gave a shoulder to cry?
Or kissed the face on which the tears ran.

His life was nothing but one big question,
Answers for which no one had,
All those people who grieved today
Were the same bunch who till yesterday never cared.

Well I read the comments & thought Ill mention whom I wrote this for & why..

Last week Mr. Satyanarayana was dastardly killed by Taliban militants

The very next day the family received condolence messages from all over the country.

Announcements were made & compensations were given. He is survived by his wife & his three kids..& one look into those teary eyes will tell you for whom I wrote this. I started writing this poem last week but couldnt find lines to end it...Exactly a week after the incident I noticed that there was no news on the family...What happened to his wife who had tried to commit suicide...what about his kids?? what about the compensations??? All that was left were the news paper clippings....Thats why I left the last lines abrupt cos thats the truth...

2006-03-28T13:48:00.000+09:00

Read this one now....& felt it applies to all of us...

Any change, any loss, does not make us victims.
Others can shake you, surprise you or dissapoint you.
But they cant prevent you from moving on.

No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation,
You can always do something.

On every turn of life, you always have a choice.
And that choice can be your power.

2006-03-21T22:51:00.000+09:00

Journey...

We travel on roads leading to the unknown..
we see it all there & yet when we reach there its all gone,
each step takes you little closer, yet each step draws you back,
teaches you on your way that there’s a lot to be learnt & lots that you lack

2006-02-25T20:59:00.000+09:00

Unspoken...

All I long to see is the laughter in your eyes,
words unspoken, ur eyes give out miles,
Neither can I hold u, nor see u break,
torn between my heart & head...
I see u there & nothing is said.

Days pass by & so do years,
Ur still there Iam still here,
Still I see that emptiness in ur eyes,
I know theres something, I try to tell u & then
theres nothing said.

Time just flies & U move on,
U smile all the way, but eyes still long...
I just see u there & pray that u stay happy
There always will be few words i longed to hear..
I know there was something, but never anything said.

2006-01-23T13:54:00.000+09:00

Written Loooong Back...but one of my all time favs....

Love???

far beyond the noise of the madenning crowd
i hear u whisper in my ears
suddenly everything around me seems to go silent
suddenly everyone motion less
all that is left is this weird solitude
and i find u nowhere around
search for u is all do
is it madness or is it love?

2006-01-09T23:07:00.000+09:00

I read this somewhere few days back...
There are two primary choices in life - to accept conditions as they exist
or accept responsibility for changing them.

There have been lots of instances in my life where ive found myself at crossroads...my mind telling somethin & my heart something else. its like a another person exists within u who has different tastes, different priorities, different likes & dislikes...One more logical & cautious, living this life based on a tried & tested recipe...Knowing what will be the outcome, & always sure that nothing radically bad is going to comeout it if not something extremely good. life will be just as it is...The other one wild, risk taker, craving for zeal in life, would love to take the untreaded path, not sure of what the outcome will be...

One single life..& lots to explore. ist it too unfair???? at this time when iam sitting here in the office trying to just finish whats in hand...i could be somewhere else...doing something i love to do......options are unending...to be frank ive lived 22 yrs of my life the way i was told to live...studies career, marriage, kids, grandkids & so on, this is the conventional way of living...moreover the worst part is there is even a time line for all this....Few may think that living an unconventional life is running away from responsibilities....i disagree...it requirea a great deal of guts to break this system....live this life on your own terms & conditions.....experience new things....& at the end of everything accept complete resposibility for what ever may be the outcome...just take each & everything as an experience...

2006-01-05T17:03:00.000+09:00

I tell u in my dreams, things I want to say,
Kiss u on ur cheeks, when u walk away,
When u hold me in ur arms,
U take my breath away,
Now its impossible to keep all this locked away.

I Wake up every morning, thinking bout u dear,
Wish u would understand, wish that u could hear,
All the words unspoken, buried in my heart,
Wish u could just feel it…wish that u were here.

Now the days just pass by, wondering what to do,
Should I just tell u, or wait till u make a move,
But all this wait is killing me, & that’s the only truth,
I love u with all my heart & that’s all I can do…..

2005-12-11T09:59:00.000+09:00

Ive heard this a number of times before "Live each day as if this is the last day you r ever gonna live" sounds simple right?? I used to listen & just throw it from the other ear, i mean what do u do, every day u cant remind urself that start actually living not just existing right? I was proved wrong a few days back... Ive been proved wrong before but i still didnt listen...& then again i felt the slap on my face....its been 5 yrs since he passed away, everyone has moved on....every now & then u do feel his presence but u know that he is nowhere....life was too simple then, i mean u have a bunch of ppl whi u care about & u spend time with them...when ur with ppl whom u love do we ever think how would life be if they werent there...we as individuals are nothing, our life has meaning only when u have ppl around whom u love & care about, without them ur just a speck of dust. The day he left all of us crying i grew a little.....but that was 5 yrs back & this is now...There once was a family, a very happy family...very simple family..a family where love was the only wealth they could boast of...a family which had dreams...a father who believed in god more than anything elese...who prayed every single day for the safety of his family..a mother who adored her kids, loved them, nourished them & protected them...& then there were kids who had dreams in their eyes dreams of rising in life....i just wish i cud write that they stayed happily ever after....just wish.....I pray that no one ever in their life should go through what this family has gone through....no father should see the day where he would have to emerse the ashes of his own daughter...no mother should see her beautiful daughter bleed to death & no brother see his darling sister close her eyes & never wake up again.....16 an age where life just grows sweeter, an age where new feelings are born, an age where everything u do just seems right, an age to cherish, an age to smile...the age at which she closed her eyes forever...

2005-10-26T10:35:00.000+09:00

rains.... & more rains......the weather outside though too wet is awesome....given a choice i would just go & enjoy every bit of it...rains actually remind of those days when all of friends would just take our bikes out & ride to destinations undecided, eventually crash at some dhaba have awesome chai which would soothe our senses & then just come back home....those drives....wild screams......hysterical laughing.....makes me wonder was it actually me??? guess it was.....these pictures come back to my mind as if they were all yesterday....years have passed all those animals have sobered down....few have actually been domesticated....tied down we are all, tied down by responsibilities...expectations...so on...gone are the days when we were impulsive...u know impulsiveness brings actually a different type of happiness....have u noticed the smile on faces of kids when they are happy??? just look at them & then ull realise y their faces glow with joy....kids never bother bout anything, they laugh when they want to....such innocence such beauty......

2005-10-15T11:48:00.000+09:00

its that time of the day when actually ur sensory organs start
failing , & u find urself in a state of absolute blankness....day is almost over...& ur worried looking at the amount of work still left to do which obviously will be carried over to the next day with a certain amount of uncertainity...( work not done today, who guarantees it will get done tomorrow?? )..this time of the day u actually start becoming philosophical asking questions like why this life?? what did u learn?? is this what u always wanted & so on....( see ones mind never stops ). Its funny to see how a person changes in a single day...right from the i can do anything mode in the morning to a i @@#%$**!%! hope thats all for today in the evening...guess wats there is more..we all are in a corporate world..for me take it literally..not much has changed in the world around me but i certainly wont say that bout my world...its a constant journey where destination is not decided. rightly said by someone all that we look forward in a journey is the end, but in the end u realise that its the journey which mattered the most...

2005-10-12T05:46:00.000+09:00

This is something i had penned down few months back.....

As I sit to write for you today,
Words come out few,
thoughts are flooding my mind,
But dont know what should i write for you.

Should it be simple letter sealed with love,
or a poem wrapped with warmth & gratitude,
or should I just tell you that when I see you iam in awe,
For you have been there for me,
completely & thats true.

No matter how much ever we fought
and god knows, the times were not few,
you still came back to me
& tried to start everything anew.

In you my friend, is a friend I see,
who'll walk with me & help me cross the sands of time,
Hold my hands, & be a shoulder,
Assure me that all would be fine.

2005-10-12T03:30:00.000+09:00

lilttle by little tears start to dry,
little by little i can see the time pass by,
little by little the smiles fade away,
then i start to wonder wats there to stay??

memories still fresh in my mind,
campus, placements & all the fights,
those long drives to destinations undecided,
marine drive, setting sun & everything else just right.

still fresh in my mind are those hugs & kisses
showered upon me the day i got placed
still fresh in my mind are the hours we all spent together
just being there, everyone was a part of that race.

now all seems like a distant dream
which just touched me & then flew off,
touched my heart, touched my soul,
truly made me believe that ive been touched by GOD.

2005-10-11T06:00:00.000+09:00

morning my colleague enquired" u look happy today!! anything special?? " as usual i just replied that no everything is as usual. After i came back to my seat...these words just kept.echoing in my mind....happy!!!!...wat exactly is happiness?? well isnt happiness absence of sadness?? well if it is so...then surely iam not sad...then am i happy??? probly iam!!! Why do we analyse everything so much??? if ur not sad just accept thet then probly this wat is happiness....ur not in a state of depravation....probly not much exciting happens in ur life but...then in whose life does it happen everyday??? Y cant we just appreciate the simple fact....every morning when u open ur eyes & see ppl who u love around u, do u realise ur alive...u got one more day in ur life which is so uncertain...today ur here tomorrow u may not be. wat is it that makes us think that we are all goin to live forever?? wat makes us so certain that things not achieved today, will be achievable tomorrow...have u seen tomorrow.....none of us have....

2005-10-10T14:06:00.000+09:00

wats it that we all crave for?? is it money...career...power...stability...FAMILY????wats it...one creates a want for another & then another & at the end of it u realise probly u never wanted this in the first place? The constant race which we are all a part of never fails to amaze me...the constant need for power, money beauty & all materialistic happiness is wat drives ppl now...gone are the days when one decision made by a person was made by keeping ppl around in mind...now its just "I" one single letter encapsulates everything. first when we grow up..its my doll or probly my car, then it was my dress, my vehicle, my freedom & most imp MY SPACE..cant undersand wats ur space...it was never urs in the first place then wats urs???? u dont even own urself for god sake!!!! I have been truly blessed to be surrounded by ppl who have sacrificed all they love just to see one smile on my face..MY FAMILY...i cant even dare to imagine how life wud have been if they had been like wat we are all like today....priceless is the amount of time they have spent on me..priceless the money spent...priceless the dreams they let go to take care of the reality..priceless the tears hidden...priceless the dream they let us see....priceless the efforts put in by them to hep us make it a reality...priceless their soul...priceless them...if we can be even half of wat they have been all their lifes, we wud be much happier ppl...probly lil less wealth...but who cares ur not goin to take it along whenu die....y dont we all just learn to accept one thing...life is momentary....& so is happiness wat remains for ever is this love between ppl....its stronger than anydamn thing in this world it binds, its grows..it stays....so just for a moment...think above urself....just think...